Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
