my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
