I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize