im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize