So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize