Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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