Non-Jews are for practice
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
