So drunk its hurt
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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