hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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