I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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