you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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