So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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