bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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