So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
