She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
