True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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