O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
