Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
