if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
