she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize