Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
