Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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