So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
