my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
