I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
