i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
