i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
