Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize