I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
