i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize