Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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