Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
