it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
