So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
