My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
