What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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