fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
