whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
