Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
