sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
