I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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