She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
