I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
