Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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