sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
