all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Rumble strips road head = magical
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
