At least make sure they are 18
Why
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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