That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
