Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
