Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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