is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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