Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
