i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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