just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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